Motherhood

This particular post is a little lengthy but it is because it was written as a speech for my XStatically Speaking Toastmasters Club. Enjoy!

One Sunday morning, my husband and I look up from our quiet booth, coffee cups in hand, cringing at the ear piercing shriek of a young child who is waiting for his pancakes. Without skipping a beat, we look at each other and say in unison “Reason 497 not to have a child”.

Allow me to tell you the story of how falling into motherhood changed my life and how in just 1 year I have well surpassed 497 reasons I am grateful to be a mother. 

My story starts when a  friend made the announcement that she was pregnant. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. I have had friends before who had grown up, got married and had kids. I was almost in my 40’s so this wasn’t new. I also wasn’t jealous. It wasn’t like we were trying to get pregnant and I definitely never felt my clock ticking. But for some reason, this announcement got me giddy with excitement. I needed to go shopping and pick out some onesies and sleepers for her and oh ya I had to go home and tell my husband we should have a baby… and that’s exactly what we did. One month later exactly, I peed on a stick and it turned pink. My husband gave me a tall glass of water and told me to try it again. I peed on a stick a second time… and yup – it was still pink. We were pregnant.

I loved being pregnant. I delighted in watching my body grow as big as a house. I ate non-stop in an attempt to curb the all day morning sickness. As the fluttering and kicks started, I couldn’t keep my hands away from my belly, rubbing it like I was a Budha. I relished in the nesting aspects of pregnancy as I experimented with preparing healthy meals, sewing baby blankets, reading mommy blogs  and creating the ultimate nursery board on Pinterest. 

We fell into routines together, my husband, our unborn baby and I. Before she was even born, we were kindred spirits. My husband felt her kicking away as I slept soundly and I chatted away to her  in the mornings. It was during those quiet moments that I could feel her waking and stretching. We sang to her and played piano or guitar for her. We did yoga and went for walks. My stress level dipped to an all time low as my pace slowed to a more nurturing rhythm.

I was told by a wise woman that giving birth and becoming a mother was like suddenly becoming part of a sisterhood connecting  all mothers living and deceased. I can’t think of a better way to describe it. Talking about my personal life was not something I opened up about easily but once I had a baby in my belly, I was discussing bodily functions, labor plans and parenting philosophies with every mom I ran into and I met a lot of moms. A whole community of support opened up to me. We met at health centers, libraries, baby stores and online.  I soaked in their wisdom and built up my confidence with their reassurances.  I embraced their mantra of “this too shall pass” during the difficult early days of motherhood and it became the advice I would start to pass along to other “newer” moms.

It is now hard to believe that just shortly before we ever knew we would become parents, a family member drilled us with questions about why we had chosen not to have kids. We gave her the same old spiel we had been telling ourselves for  years. Our hearts and lives were full. We had work, dogs, a social life that was keeping us young and lots of time to take in movies and have relaxing hobbies. There was no room in our lives for kids and we didn’t feel like we were missing out. We didn’t need or couldn’t give more love than we were already giving to each other and there was definitely no extra energy to keep up with a small child. 

Now you  may remember the Christmas Story about the Grinch from our childhood. The cartoon one from the 60’s. The mean old Grinch had a tiny heart and it wasn’t until he learned the meaning of Christmas that something changed.  “And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!” When my daughter was born, made my heart grew 10 sizes that day. It was so easy to find the extra room to love this little tiny soul. Each day I wore her around or snuggled with her or soothed her cries made my heart grow even bigger. 

My husband and I have lost count of the millions of things we love about being a parent. My list includes things like doing mommy stuff such as cooking & sewing, being part of a community, make a conscious decision to live with less stress in my life, teaching my little one how to walk or try different foods, breastfeeding her the first minute of her life and straight on into toddler-hood, seeing how grumpy she gets when I wake her up too early or when  she can’t make a toy work just right, the raised eyebrows she makes, the way she uses the same dance moves for hip hop and Opera, her giggling laughter when her Papa teases her and the way she shares every meal with the dog or thinks every flat toy in the house is a phone or better yet… when she squeals with absolute delight as she is waiting for her pancakes at the restaurant as we sit beside a childless couple who are absolutely horrified.

Reason 498 to have children: She makes my heart grow 3 sizes every single time I look at her. Every. Single. Time.

First full day at home so day 4 of parenthood?